And not even kissed enough for any real practice. It’s not that I’m asexual. I really like erotic literature, and I’ve even had thoughts of writing some of my own. But how can one write about something one has never done? All I really have to go on is my imagination and what I’ve seen in pornography. My intellect tells me that neither of those have much basis in reality. And so I’ve sat here for many long moments wondering what the experience of sex is really like. What does it feels like? Hot. Sublime. I imagine the friction between their flesh and mine, so drastically different than when I am alone. So much more wondrous and profound. So much more to see and experience. What does it feel like to have another person deep in the heart of you? To look up into their eyes, watch their face, feel their breath even while you feel them inside you. Do they feel what I feel? Am I truly doing these things, wanting these things? What does it smell like? Musk. Heavy. I imagine our scents. I inched closer to the door, trying not to make any noise. As I got closer I heard a very familiar sound ... the clapping and smacking of two bodies fucking. I got all the way up to the door and I listened to a female getting a hard dicking for thirty seconds before I heard my Mom's voice say, "Keep fucking me with that big young cock baby!" It was a phrase I never thought I'd hear come out of my Mother's mouth. It sound so odd coming from her; even though she was a long-time smoker, she had a voice that sounded like an 18 year old honor student. I had heard that voice welcome me home from work everyday, and say "I love you" to my Father, Patrick, when they talked on the telephone. Hearing her say the words "Keep fucking me with that big cock baby," was a shock to the system. As badly as I wanted to bust into the room and see exactly what I was listening to, I used my better judgment and decided not to. I tip-toed back toward the front door, and as I did whoever it was that was.
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